It’s coming up on my two year anniversary of this journey. On May 17, 2017 I ruptured my S5 disk picking my son up to stop him from running into the street. We were on our way to my first therapy appointment with my “new” therapist, the old one had left the network, and my sweet 3 year-old son didn’t want to go get into the car. He ran down the driveway toward the street and I did one of those grab and pick up maneuvers and ruptured my already compounded disk. We didn’t know it was compounded at the time. I had been to two doctors that week and a physical therapist that same day who all said it was my hips. It was an unavoidable action that changed my life permanently for these past two years. I spent a good amount of the summer in my bed recovering from surgery and learning how to live with nerve pain. It was there I decided I was done with anxiety, fear and worry as I dealt with daily panic attacks wondering if I’d ever get out of bed.
Well 8 months of physical therapy, a back surgery and numerous epidurals later I wish I could say today I’m healed. Unfortunately not quite yet. However sometimes God makes us go through really hard things to teach us and I feel like I’ve been in His classroom daily. Some of these lessons are priceless. Like learning how to slow down and rest when I need to. I never rested when I was whole and was always exhausted. I’m not afraid anymore to take a day and just rest. Being brave has become driving my car with nerve pain. Not knowing if my doctor will renew my handicap placard. Serving at Camp Allendale and walking 3 plus miles a day, and celebrating after that third mile. I’ve learned to rely on God and the Holy Spirit to do simple, everyday things like find my keys or pick up the laundry basket.
I can’t say I’m grateful for the injury yet. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to that point. But I can say I am grateful for what God has done despite the injury. Regardless of what you are going through God does have good plans for you and can bring beauty from your ashes. The situation may still be there (for example yesterday I found out I have a stress fracture in my nerve damaged foot so now I’m walking in my brace again) but He can work through, during and around the situation if you ask and allow Him too. Joyce Meyers says that “we are anointed for hard things, you don’t need the Holy Ghost in you if its going to be easy.” So don’t be afraid of those hard things, remember who’s daughter and son you are and ask your Father for help. You’d be amazed and what He can do.