Struggling with the “What if’s” of Life

I have a hard time being away from my kids. This past weekend my 15 year-old traveled with a group of people to work at a horse show in another state. It was about a 2 hour drive from my house. I was very nervous and worried. I had to continually pray and remind myself that God had her and would protect her. It was hard, but God showed me that she needed to be there for the good of others. While we were planning for the trip there were times I almost didn’t let her go. But now I’m glad I did. She was responsible and a good helper and needed.

Sometimes fear can stop us in our tracks. We get stuck in all the “what if’s.” It happened to me again today. My son is home sick from school. He woke up with croup in the middle of the night. He was hospitalized as a toddler for croup. Within minutes of running the steam in the bathroom for him, in my mind I already had us packed up and heading to the hospital. The steam worked, his coughing calmed down and he made it to the doctor today.

What helps me the most when these “what if’s” start spiraling around me is to be thankful for what I do have and to pray and have faith for what I still need. I needed my daughter to come home safely. I need my son to get better without a scary trip to the hospital. So I have to pray. Pray that God helps me and has mercy on my kids and remind myself of the blessings God has given me.

It’s hard for me to imagine that in 2 short years my oldest daughter will be graduating high school. If she goes on to college, as I hope, it will be weeks without her instead of just days. God is using these short trips to prepare me for that I think. He is increasing my faith so that I will be able to handle that time well.

When facing the “what if’s” its easy to start planning for the worst case scenario. But I believe the times when we feel completely out of control are the times when God is inviting us to grow our faith. We are never in control of anything except how we choose to react to a situation. I’m still learning the right reactions to stop the anxiety around it but I believe faith is a powerful weapon.

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