Last week was a week of answers, even if I did not like all of them. It started with my neurology appointment on Monday where my neurologist mercifully agreed to perform an EMG to see what exactly was going on with my foot. It was scheduled for Friday. The Van was fixed by Wednesday which was an answer to prayer as I kept being told it would been into this week before everything was fixed. God was present and acting on my behalf throughout the week. The EMG revealed that I do have nerve damage to my right foot in two places. There is a muscle near your ankle that he said was no longer working and I have damage in my big toe and second and third digits. He said he would diagnose it as a Morton’s Neuroma or a Neuroma Metatarsalgia. He suggested seeing a podiatrist which I am working on trying to find a good one in the South Indianapolis area. I’ll take any suggestions.
I am discouraged by the diagnosis because I want to believe that God will heal. Nerve damage is permanent, not that God can’t heal things that are permanent but Its a little harder to hope and to know how to proceed. I keep thinking about Paul. He had a permanent illness. We are not necessarily sure what it was, some theologians say it was his eye sight, some say it was his stomach, he had a thorn in his side. I will say this experience has brought me much closer to Jesus. I depend and rely on him every time I have to drive somewhere, every day the weather changes and causes me pain, every time I have to pick up my four year old son or something heavy. Paul was much stronger than me though. One of my favorite stories of him is found in Acts chapter 27 through 28. He is lost in a northeaster, shipwrecked, nearly dies only to climb on land and be bitten by a snake. I know I would have been in tears before I ever landed. That snake bite would have probably caused me to lay down and give up. Not Paul he tosses the snake in the fire and keeps on building a shelter. He doesn’t even flinch. Doesn’t even worry when the natives tell him its poisonous. He just keeps going. Once, before all of this I said in amazement, wow I want to be that strong. I wonder if God heard me and that is why my journey is not over.
Paul said that after praying three times for his thorn to be removed he heard God’s voice say ” My grace is sufficient for you.” 2 Corinthians 12:19. He’s proven that to me time and time again in the past year and 8 months. His grace is sufficient, His mercy is abundant and I am thankful for that. His grace is sufficient for you too. Whatever your going thru. Its hard to see His grace sometimes through the pain but its there. He is for you not against you.