The Aftermath of Change in your Life

This picture was taken while I was pregnant with my youngest. We held the shoes to show we were waiting and anticipating his arrival. Both girls had worn those sneakers as babies. Being pregnant with my son was a hard change. I was 37 and we weren’t planning on having any more children. I was also on medicine that should have prevented me from having any more children. Needless to say God had other plans and we had my son. I can remember many moments of my life when everything changed. Have you had moments like that in your life? Being married for me was probably the first but beside my back injury finding out I was pregnant with our third child definitely fits. These moments always mark and end of something, for me having a son was an end to only having daughters. It was an end to a family of four. It was bottles and diapers all over again when we had just rid the house of those things.

In her book Determined, Heather M. Dixon talks about what happens after something ends is change accompanied by chaos. I think that change, confusion and chaos can cause anxiety and depression for many of us. When we don’t recognize that this change is part of God’s plan or even if we do recognize it and don’t like it. We can struggle with anger, anxiety and depression. When I was first learning how to drive after my back injury and could only go about 15 minutes at a time I was heartbroken wishing things would go back to the way they were. I felt that this change was unjust, undeserving and wrong. I wanted to be healed completely. I wanted to go back in time and make different decisions.

But God did not supply me with a suped-up Delorean nor has he healed me completely yet. But he has blessed me beyond measure and provided for me in every way. Even in my son things from formula to clothes to shoes were supplied and still are. When God creates a change in your life he has a plan and purpose for it. He will provide for it and he will grow you in it.

Jesus had moments when change occurred and nothing was the same again. Hopefully for many people once you decide to be baptized things are not the same again. I know for me it was the beginning of a new life with Jesus. It was not the same for Jesus anymore either. Luke Chapter 3 gives the account of John the Baptist baptizing Jesus. it says in Luke 3:21 that Jesus was also baptized and “While he was praying, the heaven was opened and the Holy Spirit descended on Him in bodily form like a dove, and a voice came from heaven, “You are my Son, My Beloved, in You I am well-pleased and delighted.”

That was a moment where change occurred. Those present heard a God himself proclaim that Jesus was indeed the Messiah. This also marked the beginning of Jesus’s ministry. He was no longer a carpenter. Off into the the wildness he went for 40 days, re-emerging as the rabbi and savior of the world.

It is comforting to know that Jesus went through change and the chaos of it too. It’s hard when your in the middle to see the goodness of it. It’s easy to react to the chaos around you with fear, anger, and frustration. But know that this is not a surprise to God and He already planned for your victory in it a long time ago.

It’s also not uncommon after a change to sit in the wilderness of life for a while. For me that is a time of searching for answers. It’s a time of growing your faith in God so that when you are tempted to be depressed or anxious you can answer it with the assurance of who you are in Christ. Sometimes that was the whole point of the change. For things to shift to a place where you can grow and depend on God.

So when change occurs in your life, and it will, your actually being given an opportunity to grow. The kind of growth God wants in us can be painful but it’s necessary to keep moving forward through the chaos to the other side, instead of staying in it.

Everybody has Stress, Give it to God

Easter is over and my children have returned to school and what I saw in their eyes last night and this morning was stress. Anxiety for a new day of school. The transition from a school break back to school isn’t easy on any of them. My oldest who is very much a perfectionist had a panic moment this morning when she realized her laptop had not been charging during break. My middle struggled over outfits to wear last night and my youngest clung to me as I woke him up this morning. And I totally get all of it. As a long-time sufferer of the results of stress I totally understood how each of them felt.

I never had anyone show me how to deal with the stress in my life until I went to counseling as an adult. For my kids I tried to make myself available to talk to. I tried to help where I could. I told them I loved them and everything would be ok. But unfortunately the battle with stress is always in the mind. You need to find healthy ways to reduce and deal with the stressful situations in life or it can dramatically affect your health. It has mine.

Before my back injury I had a number of surgeries and I was always getting sick. I had my appendix and my gallbladder removed as well as a number of d and c’s for endometriosis. I had migraines-aweful horrible migraines that despite the medicine I took would send me to the ER at least once or twice a year. My stomach always hurt. I popped Advil daily for the migraines. I had panic attacks and outbursts. And now I believe most if not all of it was because of the stressful life I lead.

I was always busy, I’d pile too many things on my plate then collapse under the strain. When something didn’t go as planned it was my fault, not the universes and my expectations of everyone, including myself were way too high. It’s no wonder my body was breaking down underneath me. I didn’t give it a chance to breathe.

So what’s different now. Having the back injury taught me the importance of rest. It showed me that not everything I took on needed to be taken on by me. I learned to make plans but not to put all my expectations in them. Life happens, things change and its ok to go with the flow. I learned to let go of disappointment and that “I can do all things through Christ,” does not mean I can do all things through Kelly or that I should do all things. I pray a lot now about what I’m meant to do and what someone else is meant to do so that I’m only doing what I’m supposed to.

I’ve started exercising again and that greatly reduces my stress. Writing reduces my stress. The techniques I’ve learned in therapy to breathe and slow down has reduced my stress. I’m still struggling. I eat when I’m stressed and I am currently trying to overcome that obstacle. I’m struggling but I’m leaps and bound from where I was. Migraines hardly happen. My stomach is better than its been in years. I avoided another endometriosis surgery with prayer and a better diet and medicine.

But ultimately for me learning to pray and go to Jesus when stress happens has helped me the most. Reminding myself daily that He is in control and has a good plan for me has helped me calm down and face whatever I’m struggling with. He is on your side and He wants to help you navigate through your day. The bad parts and the good parts. Paul said he had learned to be content in any situation. (Philippians 4:12) For me the key word is he learned. It’s a learning process to live in a stressful situation and be content. I’m not there yet but I pray someday I will be.

I hope this helps someone see that God is a relational God. If you want the transformation in your life that was talked about Easter Sunday, yesterday, you need to have a real relationship with Jesus. This morning I prayed for my kids. I brought there day to God. I am hopeful for the day when they do that themselves. I invite you today whatever is causing you stress in your life. Bring it to God and watch it change for the better.

Living with a Chronic Illness

Many of us who have endured a chronic illness will suffer from depression. Being unable to do what we think we ought to be doing is frustrating and in some ways devastating. When I injured my back in 2017 I spent what felt like the entire summer in bed, much of it unable to walk without crutches. My right leg was weak and numb from the knee down. My back was healing from my S-5 disc rupturing and surgery so Sitting up with out good support was very painful. In that time I could barely get dressed, couldn’t drive. There were a million things I thought I needed to do but I couldn’t get up to do them. It was depressing and hard when I tried to do something and couldn’t succeed.

I have also suffered from migraines since my 20’s. Migraines is one of the many chronic illnesses where you can be fine on day and flat on your back the next. It makes it difficult to plan, to make commitments and function in a normal way. Fibromyalgia, multiple sycosis and many other illnesses work the same way. Not being able to live a normal life can result in depression and trying to plan can result in anxiety as you don’t know what will happen next.

Having a chronic illness, in my opinion, is very humbling. I have learned to rely on my faith for guidance, prayers for strength and mercy for the things I just cannot do. Setting my expectations a little lower is something my therapist told me a long time ago. It’s hard not to expect so much of myself but when migraines or bad back and leg days creep in I need to be kind to myself, not beat myself up over all I can’t do.

Accepting help from others is also vital although a very hard thing to do. But it’s necessary. There is nothing wrong with your spouse helping you whether its to the bathroom or doing the laundry. It’s hard to let them, I get it, but you have to let go of that guilt and let them help you. If someone offers, take them up on it. God blesses those who serve in obedience. God will bless the person helping you for helping you.

There is also a difficulty of understanding a chronic illness for those who don’t have a chronic illness. It’s not a cop out or a thing to complain about, its a real illness and it comes with lots of baggage. Having empathy and helping without complaining is the best thing you can do for someone you love with chronic illness.

In dealing with depression and anxiety with a chronic illness my suggestion is to be kind to yourself and let go of your expectations. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It takes a long time to heal and to learn to manage how to live with a chronic illness. I am thankful God is healing me everyday. I pray the same for those of you who struggle with this.

Talk It Out

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I have a unique gift. I can be in the grocery store in line with a complete stranger, say hi to them and in a few moments have them tell me their life story. I don’t know if its because I look approachable or God has given me a gift of listening but it happens a lot. My husband often jokes that is why I am late to things, too busy chatting. But it made me think about why people do that. Why would someone spill their guts to a complete stranger? I think its because we all need someone to talk to and we very humanly say whatever it is on our hearts.

If you suffer from anxiety or depression its important to talk about it with someone. Talking with someone is the first step towards healing. Therapists are there to talk to. They listen, they give encouragement, they give you strategic tools to combat anxious or depressed situations. But if your not ready for the “leap of therapy” having a friend or a family member or a spouse that will just sit and listen is helpful. Oftentimes when we discuss what is causing our anxiety or depression saying it out loud can lift the burden of it. It can help us rationalize it. Talking about it can help take the weight of it off our shoulders.

It is also helpful to talk with someone who has been through something similar to what you are currently going through. With my back injury I also have nerve damage to my right foot. I have a good friend who I met during my recovery who has nerve damage to her left foot from an accident. Sharing stories, seeing her walk normally, hearing that someone else had been in the same place I was was so comforting and encouraging. Many of us suffer from anxiety and depression. Finding someone who understands what it feels like can help you not feel so alone.

If you don’t have anyone to talk to and feel like you need help call 1-800-273-TALK, The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. They are skilled to help calm you down and get you on the right track to find help to start your healing process.

Healing from anxiety and depression is a process. Those things that cause your anxiety and depression will not just simply go away. If you want to be able to cope with these feelings you need tools to do so and help from others. There are many tools you will need in you toolbox to combat anxiety and depression. But a person you can confide in will help you tremendously.

Having Hope While Your Grieving

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Having hope can change any situation. It paints what appears painful in a new light. Having hope is a practice. Its reminding yourself of the positive outcomes that have happened before and putting in faith in God for another positive outcome. It’s persevering through a uncomfortable or painful circumstance. It carries tenacity, endurance an attitude of not giving up.

When the thing you hoped for doesn’t happen. How do you continue to hope again? Loss is a powerful feeling. Mary Shannon Hoffpauir says in her study, Loose Control that we feel the pain of loss more intensely than the joy of victory. Jesus says very clearly in Matthew Chapter 5:4 that “Blessed are those who morn, for they will be comforted.”

The New Amplified Version explains that the focus of the verse is on sin, it reads “Blessed (forgiven, refreshed by God’s grace) are those who morn (over their sins and repent)” But I struggle with this translation. I believe it is for all kinds of morning. We can comfort each other in our losses even when we do not understand them. A good example of this is in 1 Samuel 23:15-18 David was hiding from Saul, who was out to kill him, in the wilderness of Ziph at Horesh when his friend Johnathan, Saul’s own son, went out to the woods and found David. Once he found David in the wilderness he offered him words of encouragement. Verse 17″Do not be afraid, the hand of my father Saul will not find you. You will be king over Israel and I will be second in command to you, my father Saul knows this too.”

Another example that comes to mind is that of Job’s friends in Chapter 2:13 They came and sat with their friend for seven days and seven nights. That alone was a comfort for Job. His friends kind of messed things up when they did finally open their mouths but I believe they were trying to help and show comfort in the beginning. Sometimes just being their for someone is a comfort.

Grieving any kind of loss takes a long time. When I injured my back in 2017 I went through a long period of grief, and I truly didn’t know why. I didn’t understand why I felt so sad and broken when every day I was healing. My therapist pointed out that I was grieving the person who I used to be. The person who wasn’t in continuous pain, who could drive for hours on the expressway. Who could pick up and carry her 4 year-old. I wasn’t her anymore and the things that came with that were hard. I still have days when I miss her.

Loosing someone you love takes a long time to heal from. I feel like since Covid has happened were are in a time of grief. It’s crazy how many people I know who are not here that were here a year ago. Some from the virus some just from life. God has been taking many people home. It says in Ecclesiastes 3:4 A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.” Perhaps God is using this time to draw those of us that are still here closer to him.

God not only offers us comfort in our losses but he restores our hope. In Romans 8:28 it reads, “And we know that for those who love God all things that work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Even our losses in all their pain are being used to work together for our good. Another verse that echo’s this idea is Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

God is always there, even when we don’t feel him. He can always restore our hope.
David says in Psalm 42:5 a Psalm he penned when he first escaped from Saul, “Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become restless and disturbed within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall again praise Him.” David says this twice in the 42nd Psalm. We as Christians have the luxury of God as our hope, even when we are filled with loss and grief.

If you are grieving I hope this brought you some comfort today. I would also like to pray with you. You are welcome to post any prayer requests in the comments.

Fighting Worry and Finding Peace

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Worry is something I have struggled with my whole life. As a child I was misdiagnosed with ADD. I constantly worried that I was bad, not good enough, not still enough, not right enough and not smart enough. This worry manifested into anxiety which kept me from being able to sit still, concentrate in school and reinforced the idea that, this child must really have ADD. It wasn’t until college when my French professor took me aside and recognized that I couldn’t spell my French vocabulary correctly that I was tested for dyslexia. Come to find out anxiety and a learning disability was what I really struggled with all those years in school. No wonder medication never helped. But damage was already done and I was a habitual worrier about everything.

When you spend so much time in a thought process it is hard to change it. I am thankful that through God’s grace my thought patterns are changing and my response to worry has changed with it. In Mark E. Moore’s book Core 52 He states, “Neuro-scientific research has given us the fascinating insight that protein branches hold our thoughts. In a real sense, thoughts create real estate in our brains. The more we dwell on a thought, the larger the constellation of proteins become.”

When we worry we are meditating negatively on an outcome. That constellation of proteins are getting bigger and bigger the more we worry about that outcome. I had some big constellations of proteins in my head, especially once I had children. When they were babies, before I’d go to sleep worse case scenario’s would roll though my head. I worried about them not waking up, being kidnapped all kinds of horrible things. I worried so much about them I didn’t enjoy being a parent until they were older and I started learning how to fight back against worry. You can fight back.

Moore explains that “worry stems from poor mental habits. It’s unnecessary, unproductive and unrealistic.” Joyce Meyers often compares worry to rocking in a rocking chair. Your moving but your not going anywhere. The good news is that the new testament spends a great amount of time encouraging us not to worry. Matthew Chapter 6 starting on verse 25 is an account of Jesus’s direction on worry.

“Therefore I tell you, stop being worried or anxious ( perpetually uneasy, distracted) about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, as to what you will wear, Is life not more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, they are neither sow (seed) nor reap (the harvest) nor gather (the crops) into barns, and yet your heavenly Father keeps feeding them. Are you not worth much more than they?”

God provides. I play keyboard on our church’s worship team and I have just started and I don’t have a lot of shoes or clothes that are appropriate. I was planning on going to the mall to get something I could wear to play this weekend. Which causes worry in itself because the mall is a public, busy place and I don’t want to catch Covid. I found out the Sunday before I was playing that it was “wear your jersey to church day” because it was Super Bowl Sunday. My husband had a colts Payton Manning jersey. I didn’t need to buy one. But I still felt a little silly wearing it because it was so old. So on Wednesday night I mentioned that I would be wearing an old school jersey. Well Sunday came and one of the singers generously wore her Manning jersey too and Payton was inducted into the Hall of Fame the night before. Suddenly It wasn’t so silly for me to be wearing an old jersey. God provided everything I needed. I didn’t need to worry about clothes at all.

The solution to worry according to Moore? Faith. Faith cancels out worry. Having faith that God is ultimately in control, loves you more than the birds and the flowers and will keep His promises is what fights worry. The outcome is peace. What a wonderful thing to replace that worry with, peace.

Instead of focusing on worry the Bible encourages us to focus on the good. Praise God, be thankful and gracious to Him. Philippians 4:6-9 says, “Finally brothers whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

We are told to instead of focusing on the negative thoughts that we are fed daily by Satan to focus on truth, honor, justice, pureness, loveliness and things that are worthy of praise. I love to hike, I love nature. When I get to go to a park or hike a trail I am surrounded by loveliness, and beauty and my attitude changes to one of joy. That’s just from changing my environment. Mark warns, “We can’t just rid ourselves a thought. That leaves a vacuum in its place, and the negativity gets sucked right back in. We must replace negative thoughts with God’s truths.” Meyers encourages us to say scripture out loud to combat these negative thoughts. For example instead of worrying about my clothes I could have said, “Jesus said not to worry about clothes, God loves me more than the birds and the flowers he will provide for me.” Worship music, listening to podcasts and sermons also help redirect our thoughts away from worry.

Don’t forget the opposite of worry is a peace of mind. Isn’t it wonderful that Jesus gave us peace. Peace despite the trouble we face. John 14:27 Jesus says, “Peace I leave with you, my perfect peace I give to you, not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid. (Let my perfect peace calm you in every circumstance and give you courage and strength for every challenge.”AMP

The importance of Rest

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I have always, always struggled with rest. I just don’t sit still. If I’m not careful I can pile so much on my plate that it topples over and I crash with an illness, or a migraine or other awful things. As I recovered from my back surgery in 2017 God certainly slowed me down and taught me the importance of not over doing it but sometimes, I still do. Folks we do do not have super powers as much as we think we might. Our bodies and our minds and our spirits require rest. Even God who doesn’t require rest, rested after creation. Jesus repeatedly went up into the mountains to pray and rest. Part of taking care of yourself and managing your anxiety and depression is allowing yourself ample rest.

However, those of us who suffer from anxiety, depression, bi-polar disorder, and ADHD are much more likely to experience sleep disorders according to Harvard Mental Health Letter March 18, 2019. The article even goes on to say that sleep disorders, like insomnia can contribute to the illness and are not just a symptom. Lack of sleep can contribute to anxiety according to The Calm Clinic’s post on October 10, 2020 by Micah Abraham BSc. Lack of sleep reduces the stress coping ability. The article states that lack of sleep brings on physical stress on your muscles and brain stress affecting cognitive thinking.

I myself have struggled with sleep and didn’t even realize that was it until I started researching for this blog. I am a very light sleeper and wake up multiple times at night. I am on a medication that helps me sleep so I often fall back asleep but before this medication I would be up for hours. My middle daughter struggles with sleep we have tried many different methods to help her but it’s hit or miss most nights. I am also tired throughout the day and if I over do it and not rest I will sleep in or take naps for several days before I get back to normal.

So in conjunction with talking with your therapist about your sleep patterns there are suggestions that SleepFoundation.org has for restful sleep. I would add things like yoga and essential oils have also helped me relax and get ready for bed. They suggest:

  1. Establish a relaxing bedtime routine
  2. Keep a consistent sleep schedule
  3. Use your bed for only sleep and sex
  4. Make your bedroom quiet and relaxing
  5. Limit exposure to bright light in the evening.

So we’ve talked about the importance of daily rest, but what about weekly rest? Do we still need to have a Sabbath day? And what would that look like? Mark E. Moore in his book Core 52 explains in chapter 28 that ” Creations greatest productivity is within a cycle that includes rest…Our minds, emotions and bodies need time to marinate, clear the clutter, dream and reorganize. Without rest our work is impeded because our creativity is stifled.”

Implementing a day of rest in our week can make us more productive and creative. We won’t feel such burn out and we will be able to enjoy our lives!

This is my new challenge. Something I need to be doing is implementing a day of rest in my week. It used to be Monday but I will admit it has not been every Monday, just the Mondays I felt tired. I took yesterday as a Sabbath day and it was needed. I rested, I did minimal cleaning and my quiet time. I did make dinner but It felt good to sleep in and rest. It allowed me to recharge and has made today a much easier day. I challenge you if you don’t have a Sabbath day in your week to have one. Try it for a month and see if it makes a difference in your mood, productivity and well being.

Goals for a New Year, Add Some Exercise

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I started this year off with a few changes. I wanted to get physically healthier. So I am fasting sugar and pop for 21 days, almost there, and have tried to do at least 20 minutes of yoga everyday. Christians can do yoga? Yes we can. It’s a little different we focus on God instead of just meditating. I don’t hum. Yoga is a wonderful way to exercise if you struggle with anxiety and depression.

Exercise of any kind releases endorphins and those are needed for you to feel good. Yoga teaches you how to control your breath which helps with anxious thoughts. Due to my back, knee and foot problems other exercises are harder for me to do. I am still at beginner speed but I can do most yoga without injuring myself. Currently I practice yoga by watching You Tube videos from the channel Christians Do Yoga there website is http://christiansdoyoga.com.

This channel has great videos for beginners up to advance. Since I have been doing yoga everyday I feel calmer, I’m in a better overall mood and I can move my body easier.

In these videos the instructor gives us a Bible verse to focus on and then moves you through a yoga flow with prayer at the end. She even has a 10 days of Holy Yoga practice where the instructor says, “It’s not about the yoga but your daily time with God.”

It’s something I’ve started to look forward too. You might say you don’t have time to exercise but I’m sure you have 20 minutes. The nice thing about yoga is you can do it day or night. It energizes you or can help you sleep better. Some churches and YMCA’s offer yoga classes. Ours did until covid happened. I am excited for it to start again.

What kind of goals have you made for yourselves this coming year? I would love to hear about them in the comments.

Welcome 2021 Be Thankful for a New Year

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Newness is a concept the Bible is full of, newness of self, of life and of time. We are stepping into a new year, which is already shown us this week is full of new challenges, new leadership and new struggles. But we don’t have to focus on the negative. We can focus on the positive of the gift God has given us all in a new year. Lamentations 3:19 -23 reminds us that his mercies are new every morning. Everyday we get a fresh start to begin again.

“Remember (O Lord) my affliction and my wandering, the wormwood and the gall (bitterness). My soul continually remembers them and is bowed down within me. But this I call to mind, therefore I have hope. It is because of the Lord’s lovingkindness that we are not consumed, Because of his tender compassions never fail. They are new every morning, Great and beyond measure is your faithfullness.”

Lets unpack these verses for a minute. The writer of Lamentations, Jeremiah, says he is afflicted with wormwood and gall, bitterness. I know when I struggle with depression and hardship it is so tempting to become bitter. To dwell in the past and let my heart become hard. Jeremiah admits that “his soul remembers them. Just like us these thoughts are swirling around in his mind. But Jeremiah also says he bows his soul down with him. He surrenders his bitterness to the Lord and the Lord gives him hope. He states that because of the Lord’s loving kindness He is not consumed by his thoughts. He does not become hopeless.

I know for many of us, on both sides of the political gambit it’s easy to look around at last week and become hopeless. My heart has grieved heavily for the state of our country this past week. But I can lay that down, let go of the extra anxiety and lay it at Jesus’s feet in prayer and start each day afresh. My mind does not need to dwell on it or the other struggles I may have the past day. I have hope that this next day will be better. That I can begin again and make the best out of it. I can have hope and be thankful for the gift a new day is.

Below is a song I wrote on April 28, 2020 about God’s mercies. I hope you enjoy. You can hear the song here https://youtu.be/BX4eh5faubk.

Your Mercies are new every morning

Let your mercy fall on me

So much pain and fear surround me

Keep me hidden in your wings

Humbled in your presence

 I want to stay with you

So let your Mercy fall on me,

Fall on me

Your Mercies are new every morning

Pour your mercy on me

Your mercies are new every morning

Pour your mercy on me

Your rest is there in the evening

Let your rest abide in me

But Worldly things pull at every side

Let your rest abide in me

Like a child I want your hand Lord

Like a sheep I want a guide

So let your mercy fall on me, Lord

Like rain, Let your mercy fall on me

Your Mercies are new every morning

Pour your mercy on me

Your Mercies are new every morning

Pour your mercy on me

Weapons for Daily Battle: Worship

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“I’m no longer a slave of fear, I am a child of God..”  The first time I heard that song I was at a Karitos Worship and Arts Mini Conference which took place in Indianapolis. It was one of the songs we were singing during worship and we were singing and dancing. During the interlude one of the members of the praise band on stage said he felt that God wanted to bring healing and asked us to start praying for healing. At the time my daughter was with me and had a sprained ankle. I naturally started praying for her But God had other plans. A few moments later the speaker said He felt someone was going to be healed from Bi Polar. I stopped dead, in shock. I though certainly there is someone else in here suffering from that he’s talking about, but no He was talking about me. I had been diagnosed BI-polar II and was on three different medications for it and still struggled. That was in 2015. Within weeks of the conference I noticed I wasn’t having highs and lows anymore. I still struggled with anxiety but it wasn’t as extreme and panic attacks lessened. Now I’m on one medication at its lowest dose. I don’t have extreme highs and lows and  I’ve learned how to manage my anxiety. I believe he healed me that day. I didn’t deserve it. I certainly didn’t ask for it, I thought “this is my life now,” But he healed me because of his grace and mercy.

God created us to worship Him. When we worship him, whether it be by singing worship music, saying praises to him, or even serving Him he will come to meet with us. Ever heard of someone saying “God showed up” that’s what I’m talking about. Worship is a powerful weapon against depression and anxiety. It causes you to take your eyes off your problems and focus on  the God who created everything, who is in control. It gives you a sense of peace and assurance despite your current circumstance. It renews hope.

Worshiping God on a regular basis also changed your mindset and your heart. It aids in the transformation that God promises in Romans 12:2′ Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Mark E. Moore in his book Core 52 cites Music and Service, two forms of worship, as one of the four things God gives us to use against cultural influence or the “world”.  He says this about music. ” Music bypasses the gatekeeper of the soul. Worship music exhalts God, and we get caught in the upward draft. It lifts us to places we want to be. The heavier your past baggage, the more helium of worship you’ll need to raise you where you want to be. “p288.

That updraft brings us closer to God and closer to what His will is for us and each other. And our mindsets change, we become less selfish, more aware of those around us who need us. More likely to serve which in itself is a form of worship.  I can tell you many wonderful stories of healing, repentance and just love that has come out of worship experiences I’ve had. But even if those things aren’t happening in your life worship should still take place. We serve an amazing God and he can transform us if we bring ourselves close to Him. Worship is just another avenue to do that.