God has been talking to me a lot about talents lately. He’s been working on me about my own talents. When I was in my teens and younger I loved playing the piano. I would practice 2-3 hours a night, at one time I practiced so much I had tendinitis in my wrists and had to take a break for a month. I went to college planning on getting a degree in music, that didn’t happen, I had to pick a more “practical” major. I’ve tried to play in many different capacities but I always seemed to fall short and after a worship band I was playing in fell apart I started only playing for myself.
And I felt guilty for it. I would think of the parable of the 5 talents and think well I’ve hidden music in the ground. I would feel so guilty that I couldn’t use my talent. Even though I felt I was thwarted whenever I tried. Do you ever feel that way, guilty because your not doing something?
Well in this quarantine time I’ve started playing the piano and the Holy Spirit encouraged me to play hymns on facebook. I think I played four. Then my girls decided they wanted to learn piano so I started teaching them a few things. Then I joined a writing group and in the writing prompt time I started writing songs again. I haven’t written a song in years. But now I have 6 to work on. All the time I’m saying, God why are you doing this? It always falls apart and I get discouraged. When I admitted this to my close friend she said, maybe this time it won’t. But it’s scary. It’s scary either way. It’s scary to step out and post yourself playing a song and no one liking it. And it’s scary if someone likes it. There’s fear again, the constant companion that tries to stop you from doing anything. And to think I’ve wasted my talent is also a wrong mindset. I’ve always wanted to use it, I just never knew what to do, and I still don’t.
So I guess its important not to give up on your talents. God blessed each of you with unique gifts. Don’t feel guilty if your not using one of them but know that at some point God will use it. Our talents make up who we are, he wouldn’t plant them in us if he didn’t have a good reason for it. It might just be for me that God knew I feel joy when I hear music. Be thankful and wait patiently on him. I needed to hear that too.
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